Velociraptor Awareness

Sci-Fi King25

Not sure if anyone remembers the old tradition of Velociraptor Awareness Month here. Guess what people- Velociraptor Awareness Day is in THREE DAYS! This April 18, be prepared to fight off the Raptors. Here's some helpful pictures to help-

Raptor-401

Heh... he left to go make an iced coffee... Here is my time to shine.

You may think you'll win, but the DAF shall remain strong, and- oh shit it's him!

What do you think you're doing? Get off the computer I need to study for the huge test on Friday, and you're gonna help me.

What, why me!?

Because you are me, you narcissistic tool.

Hey, no need to be so harsh.

Well I'm sick of your BS. Also we're on the same side, so I suggest you and 9097 realize the stuff you have in common. Honestly, I don't which one of you is crazy, but if you excuse I'm gonna have to take away the PC from you.

But-

No buts.

Hehehehe... you said-

That's it.

Hey what's with that look, wait WAIT-

Lord Vader

There's no doubt that both of them are crazy. It's just who's crazier?

I did not leave to make an iced coffee. I left to go blow up a planet! What do you do for fun? Conspire against me? I'll blow up your home planet for shits and giggles!

MG, calm down.

He was conspiring against me, again! And he said I was making a sissy ass iced coffee!

Get over yourself. It isn't April anymore either, you should be gone.

You no longer have the emotional capacity to hold me back.

You're too emotional. 

Am not. 

Do I have to tell them why that blonde girl has the cushy job of handling our taxes?

We don't have taxes though. We blew up that planet.

I know. Do I have to tell them why that blonde girl get paid to sit there and look pretty?

You wouldn't.

I would.

Wait, we may think we won? We won last month! The DAF is broken up, and only the Empire remains! Any more DAF members that remain will be hunted down and KILLED! And Captain, I'll kick your ass into next week! I'll shove you into the garbage disposal and crush you. I'll-

The blonde's official position is to do paperwork. Since we don't have paperwork because we prefer force, she gets paid to sit at a desk and play on her phone using the Death Star's free wifi. Why does she get paid to do that? Well, you see, she hugged Major General 9097 and he loves her now. 

You, you, you actually told them. I can't believe you actually told them. That was a low blow right in the ego. 

Are be you going to shut up when I tell you to?

Yes.

Good.

Raptor-401

Heh, when I said "he" left to go make iced coffee, I was referring to the crazy guy who keeps on kicking me out of the computer, you presumptuous assuming filth!!!

Ha! A hug!? Hugs are for the weak, I myself do not get distracted by women, I instead focus on-

I frick-fracking knew it, I come back with my iced coffee to see you making false threats.

Aw dammit, how do you know exactly when I get online!?

You're part of me, dumbass.

Shut it, besides what's up with you and iced coffees?

Well I need to them to get energetic for the big tests, they taste good, and wait a second.. You're criticizing him for being "weak" against hugs? Do I need to mention the time when that girl said she loved you and even though she didn't mean it romantically you told me-

What the hell, why are you telling them this?

I didn't even finish.

Well you still gave the details!

Look I need to go, at first I was beginning to like because for a solid year you kept offline, but now in the week I tell you we need to prepare ourselves for the hardest exams, you do this. This is already really long

that'swhatshesaid.

---

...

*Gets angry in Spanish*

....no... NOT IN SPANISH, ANYTHING BUT-

Uh... Feel like a part of me just died... literally.

Anyway... All raptors are created equal, and uh, gonna go take take a pain-killer.

Lord Vader

FILTH!? You think I'm filth? I'm in charge of the group that took over everything. My side won the war! I'm in charge of a god damn Death Star! You keep getting kicked off a damn computer. "Filth" is a big word for you, keyboard warrior. 

You two are identical.

He probably lives in his parent's basement! I'm in charge of a moon sized battle station!

Valid point. 

I feel as though there's something else that should have pushed me off the edge.

He called you weak for enjoying hugs. I see nothing wrong with hugs myself, we all need a little love. Apparently, he doesn't get distracted by women. You know what that means.

Yeah, he drops the soap on purpose.

Good thing we don't have to worry about that because our secretary friend got a raise. 

Yeah, and came with her promotion.

It's good to be in charge.

That it is.

Raptor-401

What are you talking about, no one won, it was a tie, and it was mainly a Cold War, at least between the Rebellion and DAF.

First off... that was quite accurate... I guess maybe one of your chromosomes isn't dis-functional after all.

AND HUGS ARE FOR THE WEAK.

And now I think you're a dumbass again. Twas' good while it lasted though. Also he's the one who pretends he doesn't get distracted, I mean let me just copy and paste his search history-

If you show that I promise you I will kill you.

You mean suicide, and it can't be that bad... Oh Christ... Wait what the f...

......

...

...

.......... I can't even.

Same with the-

I don't want to know, gonna go douse my eyes in holy water.

Oh come one it's just a title.

It is, and never before have I realised the power of words.

Uh let's change the subject.

We agree on something.

So uh... What do we own...?

We're not supposed to tell them about the bases... XD you see what they said about the death star?

Yeah the one that got destroyed by some girl who found some documents of the weak point of the death star and allowed some dude who was in love with his sister to blow it up with one shot?

Yeah, that one.

Anyway, what should we do?

Study... Time to review the Progressive Era and Teddy.

Like teddy bears?

No, Teddy Roosevelt, dumbass.

You keep on calling me that, how come you don;'t come up with better insults? I expect better of you.

Well it suits you. Well gonna study and uh, I guess go create plans to improve the power of the DAF bases.

Lord Vader

Great, the pissing contest is back.

Now what?

Get mad, scream f*ck it.

What about our friend? The one who hugs us. 

Yeah, talk to her for a bit. Get a hug.

Then what?

We don't respond to them anymore.

The only one who hugs us? The secretary, sure, she...... You know, but it's not the same. 

I meant the Captain dumbass.

Phew.

Lord Vader

Wait, what was the point of this entire war?

Well, it...... it........ the goal kinda....... got....... changed as time went on. At one point it was for forum domination, then it turned to something or another, and then it stopped when the goal was equality.

Well, wasn't there equality? Before the Captain and his sketchy browser history showed up?

I...... yeah. There was equality. Everyone was treated equally. Everyone pulled their weight and everyone was happy.

So, what's the Captain's problem?

No clue.

What even started this war?

Someone started Velociraptor awareness month, and Delta took credit for it, saying it was part of his plan for forum domination. I was on his side and I've stuck with this side.

I'm confused. We achieved our goal, but now-

Dude, you're giving me a headache. Can we figure this one out later. We have, plans to put into motion.

Why?

Raptor-401

A pissing contest!? Why I can aim straight at the target from 5 feet without having an-

Dude, he didn't mean "pissing contest" literally, you dirty-minded dipshit. And you can't even go farther than a metre.

Alright, calm down with the insults, and metres!? Speak American! And maybe we should stop this... I mean besides you making me feel worthless, I see this as futile since it's clear you'll never let your rationality consider betraying our allies to have the DAF take over.

Well because the DAF is about raptor equality and equality for dinosaurs (#DinoLivesMatter) and it seems we have achieved it.

I thought you hated hashtags...

Well I did, but they're fun to use and it allowed us to promote raptor equality through the broad from of social media.

What caused the war...?

Well, the one with Raptor Awareness?

Yup.

I started a discussion about Raptor Awareness, Delta used it to begin his plans to take over or something evil, I along with Winston Chur- I mean Paden, Stalin I mean Primal King, and Franklin Dela- I mean Rex Fan formed the DAF. Then-

What was that?

What?

You confused the founders of the DAF with the countries who met up to stop World War II...

Studying for History.

Oh... go on.

And well threats were fired and we backed off afetr a month like real men, and uh Delta vanished, DAF and The Rebellion remained, we realised we all sought raptor equality, joined forces, and we're here. There's much more to it, but do you honestly give a shit?

Well uh...

Exactly.

Wonder what happened with Delta...

Feel like there's a higher chance we'll find out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop before we found it. I, however, like to imagine that the current leader of the Rebellion betrayed him by killing him,and pushing him off of a tower, or a bridge, or some high place with fog and other cliche dramatic shit while he laughed at his new power. Then he told all the other he left and took over, attempting to cover up the history of Delta like Stalin did with one of his old comrades who I don't remember the name of... Proving he did a good job.

Interesting... Will there ever be another war?

Well considering all the event that have occurred... No.

Dammit... Could I start one in the future?

No!

Please?

No!

Would you let me do it for a Scooby Snack?

I'm not a ****ing dog!

Fine...

Lord Vader

It's the Galactic Empire, thank you very much. Since I was the only one left with higher authority on either side, and since we joined forces, I took charge. 

Can't we just........ get along? Everyone was getting along when Vader and I were in charge and it was peaceful. Let's just stay with that.

GG

...

Raptor-401

Wait... He didn't deny your theory of killing Delta.

For the last time, I mean- wait... That is true what you're saying.

NOW WE SHALL-

Nah, we have had peace and let's keep it that way. You know we'll be fine.

Alright, if you say so.

So uh... Wanna watch Jurassic Park?

Sure, why not?

Lord Vader

I'm many things. 

A dick, a douchebag, an asshole, a tyrannical psychopath, but not a traitor. 

I don't know where Delta went. Maybe someone else killed him and is trying to take over, but it wasn't me. 

Raptor-401

Well he doesn't seem like the traitor type.

Eh, I still like to imagine that's how Delta went down, even if it's not what happened. Perhaps he's out there trying to take over a different dinosaur forum...

What if he's banned...?

At this rate, who knows?

Well, I've had my fine, I'll join you as one again, but be warned I will return when the time is right.

Alright, suit yourself.

He's gone... for now...

T.rex rules

dude if your a tyrannical psychopath then get your fat, hairy ass off that throne(unless its the porcelain kind) and im taking over. you claim to want peace then say your a tyrant?! more like a hypocrite to me! anyone who believes me on this say AYE!

I Meme Everything

^GorillaGodzilla is the new emperor

T.rex rules

man why you gotta be such a buzzkill i am a boy scout i live by the scout oath and law look em up

I Meme Everything

I'm not.

Also, peace is a lie.  There is only passion.  Through passion I gain strength.  Through strength I gain power.  Through power I gain victory.  Through victory my chains are broken.  The Force shall free me.

T.rex rules

one can only be great if he listens to the wants and needs of others and makes a decision that will most benefit the population. that just popped into my head i don't know where it came from but it is very true. im going to get that phrase copyrighted.

Lord Vader

Woah man, this is all just a joke. No need to start throwing insults around. 

Lord Vader

That, no, just, ouch. We've never even talked and that's what you say. Ouch. It's all a joke, I'm not actually that much of a douche for the most part. Get to know me before you judge me. Who knows, you may be surprised

T.rex rules

dude its rp your character is a douche

I Meme Everything

I'm a tyrannical psychopath too

GG

I'm pretty sure we all are tyrannical psychopaths. Ahem, Lord Tyrant--execute this fool known as T.rex rules, although his name is incredible.

T.rex rules

thank you for the compliment on my name GG. although i'll have you know i have a high IQ for someone my age. i'm just 14 and i have an IQ score of 70. nowadays most 14 year-olds don't get that smart

GG

I have a 180.

T.rex rules

yeah right you'd have to be smarter than Walter O'Brien. and you're probably an adult im just a teenager

GG

Straight up no joke, 180. By the way, I think you should read my story The End and Tyrants--if you're a dinosaur fan that is.

T.rex rules

you doubt my dino knowledge? i'll have you know i've been studying them since i was 2 and i've learned nearly everything there is to know about dinosaurs since then!

GG

What are the largest estimates for Tyrannosaurus's bite force? This, is the true test.

T.rex rules

the largest estimates for T. Rex's bite force place it at 300 psi making T.Rex's jaws the strongest of any life form ever