Velociraptor Awareness

Sci-Fi King25

Not sure if anyone remembers the old tradition of Velociraptor Awareness Month here. Guess what people- Velociraptor Awareness Day is in THREE DAYS! This April 18, be prepared to fight off the Raptors. Here's some helpful pictures to help-

JPCerato

Thanks, think that is what I was last time. I'll happily take that. I'm not fussy, and I know better than to mess with you when you're angry XD 

GG

Lieutenant, you have a very powerful position in our Empire. Do not misuse this power, if you prove yourself on the battlefield where ever that may be, the Emperor may give you a promotion in our battle-ranks.

Sci-Fi King25

Well we survived VAD 2K16. Yay...

What about Raptorism? Anyone else remember when that was a thing?

Who even started that? Think it was either me or Raptor-401...

Lord Vader

If I'm not mistaken, it was 401 who came up with the Raptorism idea. 

In turn, the Rebellion (now Galactic Empire) took that idea, applied it, and ensured our own victory.

ScienceHerWay

OMG I can't believe I missed this! I've been so busy lately so I haven't been able to keep up with the forums. Now I have to wait until next year xD.

Sci-Fi King25

^According to the old rules here, the Raptors are technically still around until May 1.

ScienceHerWay

@Sci-Fi King25 Oh, is that so? *Gets an idea >:3*

GG

Just to, reinforce. Those who oppose The Galactic Dinosaurian Empire and Lord Vader, will be hunted down and defeated! The remaining DAF conspirators who refuse to show themselves to the Empire will be destroyed, and bounties shall be placed by our Inquisitors to destroy the DAF.

Thank you,

-King GG

Lord Vader

There's no one left to oppose us. The Galactic Empire has officially won the war. All stray and straggling DAF members will be hunted down, imprisoned, and set free once they pledge allegiance to the Empire. If they refuse to pledge allegiance, they will be executed after a year. 

-Lord Vader

GG

We have brought peace, to the galaxy.

I Meme Everything

@GG: You're Godzilla right.

GG

I am a Dark Lord of the Sith, and Godzilla too.

Lord Vader

Woah GG, I wouldn't go that far. Godzilla? Yes. Lord of the Sith? No. Just remember your place. SECOND in command.

GG

...But I have control of the Force.....Lord Sith...

Lord Vader

You do now, eh? Why am I just hearing about it now?

I Meme Everything

But my name is Darth

I Meme Everything

Also, my "Godzilla right" statement was a pun XD

GG

My powers need not be known, by, the lower people. Only you Lord Vader, and aaaallllll of my Enemies.

Raptor-401

I see I've been caught off with school to have missed this... Well there's always next year... And didn't the Rebellion and the DAF join forces to end all raptor inequality?

Nah we agreed we wouldn't.

Not you again.

Now's our chance!

No, we joined forces since we were for the same cause, to end raptorism, like I discussed in my topic showing the racism of the Jurassic Park.

Well if you donkdjhsdefuhahsdjfhsdjkhdfakjsdff

Will you stop now?

Yes, for now, bwajklfhasdklfjfdhjff

Anyway, thanks for reminding the JW people of the evils of raptorism Sci-Fi King.

Lord Vader

That's what I thought 401. There were some extremists on the DAF side we had to deal with. 

Raptor-401

Which extremist may I ask, was it Captain 401?

Yes, but he hasn't seen the last of me!

You realise he can read what you say... right?

It'll be too late by the time I'm done with him?

You do realise he has expertise with guns, what do you have, exactly?

Well I was planning on asking if I could borrow your sword, the pellet rifle, and your nunchuks.

The sword is a replica not meant to deal damage, the pellet would only just injure him but likely just set him off, and... What nunchuks...?

...

Don't tell me you're talking about the Wii ones...?

...Well

That's enough out of you.

Wait-

Anyway, we must make plans to officially end raptorism.

Lord Vader

Damn straight I'm a firearms master. I'll hit a target a mile out, and if you heard my shot, you weren't my target that time.

As if MG9097's firearms expertise weren't bad enough, I am capable of choking a person out over a Skype call, just so you know. Well, more specifically, just so the captain knows. Also, Raptorism has been ended. When we were the Rebellion, we took that idea and put it into practice. We treated all the Raptors equally and gave them choice of their positions. We won less than a month after their training was complete and they were deployed. 

Take that! I didn't even have to break out the Barrett.

MG, that's enough. You don't have to make your DAF equivalent feel bad.

Well, I don't HAAAAAAAVE to, I want to.

I feel like you two would get along. Now shut up. 

Make me.

I'll tell them about your feelings.

Hey, let's not be unreasonable here. I was done talking anyway.

That's what I thought.

Raptor-401

Well that's good we ended it,

AS IF!!! I would have blocked your bullets with my swords!

You have only one "real" sword, and are your sure it could block a bullet? And even if it can, how would you know to block the bullet?

Granted it's easier said than done, but that's not the point!

Look the past what, 2 years you haven't been shutting up about ruining the rebellion, aren't you glad we've reached a point of detente? That was-

SHUT UP I'M EVIL

No you're not, honestly you just seem to be that one edgy guy who's mad at the world for his weakness and takes a cynical approach to everything.

Hey, that didn't have to be personal.

Then stop, don't make me tell them about your crush on-

I'LL STOP, JUST DON'T TELL THAT STORY.

Exactly.

Lord Vader

Bitch! .50 BMG FMJ rounds will blow your sword in half! Hell, so would hollowpoints, and then the hollowpoint would tear you-

What did I say? 

He started it. Besides, yeah, he wouldn't be able to block bullets. His best friend don't have the ability to sense when things are off like my best friend.

We aren't friends, we are alter egos. The only reason I save you is because personally I like breathing.

Well, if he's evil, what am I? Because I'm worse than him.

Psychotic. Batshit crazy. Loopy. A wacko. Now shut up, it isn't April anymore.

GG

...

Sci-Fi King25

Well then...

Soooooo, anyone else want to prepare for next April?

Lord Vader

I have a Death Star, what more do I need?

Guns! Tanks! Pitfall traps!

We don't need that. We have a Death Star with a PLANET DESTROYING LASER. Besides, I have the force.

Screw you and your magic!

The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force. 

Did you just?

Yes.

..........

Raptor-401

Ha, this force is nothing against me!

Shut up, you've only seen 2 Star Wars movies and just parodies of them.

How do you know!?

BECAUSE I'VE ONLY SEEN TWO OF THEM.

Did you Fernando, did you?

YES.

Well, when you put it like that...

Anyways, let's do make plans for next April.

It begins with domination.

That's it, time to tell them about your crush on B-

I'll LEAVE.

Anyway, my plan is to begin a Raptor Deal program, including the integration of raptors into our JW society.

Our slogan is to #MakeJWForumGreatAgain

Lord Vader

Hey! Captain 401! We're on the same team! 

It it is true. The Rebellion and DAF joined forces and we are now the Galactic Empire, which is under my control.

He's threatening us though.

And we'll deal with him if and when necessary.

Can't we just kill him now

No. We can't just go killing officers because you want to. Besides, the Captain and this 'Fernando' guy are just like us.

How?

There's us, the voice of reason and sanity. Then there's you two, the psychopaths who just want to watch the world burn. 

We are NOTHING alike! Now let's kill him!

You're so similar. It's not even funny. No, we won't kill him. But if you insist on killing him, the janitor on the level with the bar has been drinking on the job again and making a bigger mess than what he started with. We'll kill him. 

But he's on the other side of the station.

So?

So?! This battle station is the size of a god damn moon!

So? You know that smart phone doohickey? I'd imagine someone in this room has his number. We'll FaceTime him or something and I can choke him out from here. 

I'm starting to like your magic.

Lord Vader

Man, killing that guy over a camera phone was fun. We should kill faceless grunts more often.

Only if they screw up royally and/or often.

Fine.

I've been informed there's a planet that some stray DAF members have been hiding out on and it's within range.

Within range?

Let's test out the planet destroying laser again. Just to make sure it works.

Hell yeah! A planet full of things I hate and we can blow it up. What are we waiting for. 

Nothing.

Any idea how many casualties there'll be? 

Enough.

Define 'enough'.

It's a habitable planet. Its citizens are hiding DAF conspirators. Reason enough to simply blow it up.

Sweet.